How to build resilience for changemakers
Phew, life can be a rollercoaster, can’t it? Between navigating personal challenges, managing work stress, and just trying to keep it all together, it’s easy to feel like you’re one twist away from throwing your hands up. I heard recently that one of the most vital skills we can develop as we grow older is resilience - and I got kind of obsessed with the idea. For a while, I put pressure on myself to never feel a thing. To let things bounce off me like Teflon.
But here’s the thing: resilience isn’t about having it all figured out. It’s about finding new ways to move forward, even when the ride gets bumpy.
Resilience is often seen as the ability to bounce back from adversity, but it's so much more than that. It’s not just about how quickly we recover but how we navigate life’s challenges. This month, a quick guide to what resilience is, what it isn’t, and how to cultivate it in healthy ways.
When I was 13, my family moved to a new city, and it felt overwhelming. Everyone around me would say, “kids are resilient,” as if that should make everything easier. But I didn’t feel resilient. I felt sad, lonely, and out of place for a long time. And I felt like I had to bounce back - to take everything in my stride and be okay.
Resiliency is an incredibly valuable skill - both in driving social change and in living life. But it wasn’t until very recently that I understood what it really means to be resilient. .
It’s not about avoiding pain or bouncing back quickly; it’s about learning to live through that pain, even when it takes time. I’ve learned that resilience is a slow, sometimes painful process of growth and adaptation, requiring patience and self-compassion.
It’s easy to think that resilience means never being upset or down, but the reality is quite the opposite.
True resilience involves feeling your feelings, giving yourself time to recover, and understanding that bouncing back doesn’t always mean going back to the way things were. Life changes us, and sometimes, resilience means embracing those changes and finding new ways to move forward.
We can learn a great deal about resilience by looking at the experiences of those we admire. Recently, I had the opportunity to interview two incredible women for the How to Change the World podcast, both of whom have remarkable stories of resilience.
Reyna Montoya, founder of Aliento, a passionate advocate for undocumented immigrants, and a DACA recipient herself. Aliento ensured DACA recipients can pay in-state college tuition in Arizona with the passage of Prop 308 in 2022. Reyna’s story is a powerful example of resilience in the face of adversity, reminding us that behind every success are struggles and setbacks that often remain hidden from view.
T’wina Nobles, a Washington state senator and co-founder and CEO of the Black Future Co-op Fund, provides another inspiring example of resilience. Despite facing personal hardships, T’wina continued to move forward, driven by a clear vision for her life and a commitment to serving others. Her mantra, “the best is yet to come,” serves as a poignant reminder to stay hopeful and resilient, no matter the obstacles.
After speaking to Reyna and T’wina, I started to visualize what resilience means. It’s not about powering through and never feeling sad or down or defeated. It’s about coming back to what centers and motivates you.
Resiliency is a big fancy word but what does it actually look like to develop this skill in among everything you’re juggling on the daily? Here are some ideas to start:
Embrace uncertainty: Acknowledge that unpredictability is a part of life. Instead of resisting change, work on becoming more comfortable with it by focusing on what you can control and letting go of what you cannot.
Prioritize self-care: Make self-care a non-negotiable part of your routine. Regular practices like exercise, meditation, and adequate rest can fortify your resilience by ensuring you have the mental and physical energy to face challenges.
Practice mindful adaptation: Stay present and observe how you react to stress or change. Mindfulness can help you identify unhelpful patterns and allow you to consciously choose more effective responses to difficult situations.
Seek continuous learning: Curiosity is the antidote to judgment. Whether it’s through formal education, reading, or experimenting with new approaches, continuous learning can help you adapt to change and stay resilient in the face of adversity.